We love our routines. People and dogs do anyway. I’m a people and I have dogs and we love our routines. I get up every morning (so far), make coffee and do my morning exercises. My dogs get up, lumber about and do their best to interrupt my morning exercises. Annie, Beau and Oreo are my three furry friends. Beau and Oreo especially move right in or on top of me while I try to exercise. Annie mostly sits and waits for me to notice her. Which I do, then I stop exercising to give Annie snuggles and pats. Annie is the mountain to which all things come to.
After my failed morning exercises are complete-ish, I feed the dogs. Beau and Oreo are very excited about food, Dog food, people food, all food. Annie mostly sits and waits for her food. Beau and Oreo are hoovers. Annie is a dust buster. Although Annie picks at her food during the day she loves to eat at night. Annie and I have that in common.
If it’s a week day I go to work. Coming home is a wonderful thing. There’s a long window next to the front door. I usually get home at the same time every day and there’s always a dog face to greet me. Mostly it’s Oreo, although sometimes it’s Annie. Oreo is always so excited, “you’re home, you’re home, hooray you’re home!” Annie sits at the window, German Shepard ears perked up waiting for me to greet her. When I open the door Oreo and Beau rush in. Nearly 200 pounds of dog love bowling me over to say welcome home! Annie on the other hand stands, slowly wagging her tail until I give her pats and attention then she gives me kisses. This is the routine that I love.
Let me back up a second. I didn’t pick Annie, I didn’t pick Oreo either. I picked Beau. Beau and my son Jake picked Oreo. I picked Abigail, Abigail is my fiancé. Annie picked Abigail, Abigail picked me and eventually Annie picked me too. Does that make sense? If you’ve ever owned a dog then it makes perfect sense to you.
So yes, we love our routines. Starting tomorrow however, I have to learn a new routine. Today is Annie’s last day. I couldn’t write this on paper, because the paper would be too soggy from my tears. Annie is 16 and a half which in human years is like 314 or something like that. I’ve only know Annie for the last year and a half, but I love her as much as Beau and Oreo. My fiancé tells me I missed Annie’s best years. I should also mention that Annie is just a nick name. Her real name is Anarchy. So yes, I guess I missed some real doozies.
Annie was 15 when we first met and still high energy. Annie is ten years older than Oreo, but she always led the way on our walks. In retrospect I would have taken more walks with our dogs. Walks are one of the dogs’ favorite things. That is how we determined that Annie’s time was growing short. Last Friday we leashed up the dogs for a walk and Annie didn’t want to go. We kind of knew something was wrong as Annie had been declining for sometime now. We didn’t notice at first, I guess we didn’t want to. But not going for a walk was the slap in the face moment.
Annie’s recent odd behavior suddenly made perfect sense. Annie had been eating less and less. I was jumping through hoops trying to entice Annie to eat. First broth on the food, then some cooked rice or noodles. It kept getting harder and harder to get her to eat. I even remarked to Abigail that I was at my wits end trying to get Annie to eat something. Then Annie stopped eating entirely. That was also the day that Annie didn’t want to go for a walk with her pack.
We took Annie to the vet the next day. Annie weighed 28 pounds. When I first met Annie she weighed about 36 pounds. All her ribs are showing now as are her hip and shoulder bones. Annie sleeps a lot now. She gets up once in awhile to get a drink or stumble outside to pee. She can’t get back in through the dog door, so we wait for her and let her in when she’s done.
Making the decision to let Annie go is so hard. Tears spring up even now as I type these words. Annie is still alert and I imagine frustrated as hell that her body has let her down. At least I would feel that way and probably will one day. I feel worse for Abigail though. Abigail is the only owner that Annie has ever known. Abigail has never lost a dog before, hamsters yes, but this is different. I’ve lost three dogs before and it doesn’t get any easier.
Today Beau isn’t eating either. He’s sleeping in the bedroom with Annie and Abigail. Oreo is at my feet while I type. This is a very sad house today. Annie and Abigail are spending the day outside. For once Annie is not wearing a leash. I suspect that if Annie makes a break for it I’ll be able to catch her. But only this time. Jake will be by after school today to say goodbye. I won’t post this until afterwards though. Cooking and writing is my therapy. For once I don’t feel like cooking.
Dying is easy. It’s only difficult for those left behind.
Rest in peace Annie. May 13, 2013
