In Praise of Cheap Wine

Ah wine, you make me so happy with your fruity notes, tannic, highlights and hints of... Oh who am kidding. I like wine, red, white or pink. But I like them cheap, cheap like $6 a 750ml bottle cheap. Why does wine have to be so expensive? Well it doesn't plain and simple.

First a little background. I spent five years in the wholesale end of the business working for a distributor and importer. I know a little bit about what makes wine good and I know a little bit about what keeps wine expensive. A big part of the expense is due to the taxes, the so called sin taxes. Tobacco and alcohol are taxed to the max because there's very few people protesting against them. As opposed to say tea or stamps (check your history).

But here's the secret, wine is expensive because it can be. This is called selling the "sizzle" not the steak. Now there's a lot to appreciate in a nice glass of wine I'm sure. My favorite wine observation comes from Robin Williams mocking wine snobs "abusurd, yet flaccid".

I've had hundred dollar bottles of wine and bottles that cost five bucks. I can honestly say I wasn't 20 times happier drinking the $100 stuff, but I was at least 10 times sadder when it was gone.

So several years ago I started "dumbing down" my wine selections. I likes my Krug, but I'm just as happy with Korbel. Now I buy wine the way I buy cars. I look for the right year, make and model and shop price. A bottle of wine from the right year, growing area and trusted vintner is twice as good when it's buy one get one free.

I drinks what I likes and happier still when it has a screw cap (cork trees are endangered you know). You should too. Don't let the winos intimidate you with their fancy swirling stuff and glass snorting slurps. Be proud of your choice and when they run out Chateau Smelly Feet, offer em a glass of Gallo. After all you shouldn't drink alone.