I'm how old?!

Fifty, say it with me, fifty. It’s just a word, just a number, but it marks a turning point in life. Imagine my surprise when I went to the mailbox the other day and saw an invitation to join AARP. That’s when you know that your life is forever changed. I’m in a whole new demographic, the 50-65 crowd. I never thought I’d miss the 35-49 group so much. The funny thing is I don’t feel like eating dinner at 4:30, but I feel it’s my responsibility to do so.

Colonoscopy yep can’t hardly wait to get me one of them. My doctor started reminding me about getting one when I turned 45 so I’ve had a long time to prepare myself. All in all I think I’ll pass thank you very much. I understand that this may be beneficial, but outside of the instant two pound weight loss I don’t see any real benefit to the process.

Ironic isn’t it that now that I can get free coffee at McDonalds my doctor says I have to cut back on coffee. Cutting back on coffee is just the start you know. As I enter the twilight of my life I should be cutting back on many things, sweets for one. You know this is the age that type II diabetes usually rears its ugly head. So weight loss or management becomes important. Then there’s the whole loss of bone density and muscle and skin tone thing. Oh yeah aging is not for the faint hearted, you have to be tougher now. Of course with the wrinkles, thin or in my case missing hair I look a lot tougher too.

My only consolation is that I know I’m not alone in this. My parents made it through their fifties, and some of my friends are up there or beyond with me as well. There’ve been many advances in medical science that I can take advantage of as well. So as body parts break down I’ll actually get better, faster and stronger. Blow out a knee? No problem, need a hip replaced? We got that covered. How’s your heart? Ticking right along thanks, how about just clean out the pipes then. This sure is a great time to get old and get parts.

All in all I guess this is just another day, another number to add to my collection. I have fifty of them, maybe I can add fifty more.